Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
