either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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