I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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