Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay

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(260): I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay http://tfl.nu/gb99

Replies (5) Good night (2444) Bad night (955)
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(518): View more from New York

What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.

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(518): What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store. http://tfl.nu/xk1d

Replies (2) Good night (2384) Bad night (639)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

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(678): I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI. http://tfl.nu/868g

Replies (27) Good night (7426) Bad night (1442)
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(912): View more from Georgia

i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar

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(912): i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar http://tfl.nu/twn7

Replies (23) Good night (2615) Bad night (1819)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.

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(617): after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case. http://tfl.nu/63mj

Replies (9) Good night (4633) Bad night (1083)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.

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(304): Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling. http://tfl.nu/ly52

Replies (26) Good night (5621) Bad night (616)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star

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(202): you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star http://tfl.nu/tu9p

Replies (11) Good night (3728) Bad night (1140)
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(904): View more from Florida

naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.

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(904): naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea. http://tfl.nu/s2fg

Replies (9) Good night (2739) Bad night (903)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...

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(330): I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai... http://tfl.nu/9xr9

Replies (5) Good night (1926) Bad night (1059)
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(571): View more from Virginia

we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.

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(571): we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music. http://tfl.nu/kygq

Replies (8) Good night (2730) Bad night (986)
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(817): View more from Texas

Do you have any booze?

(214): View more from Texas

Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...

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(817): Do you have any booze? (214): Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl... http://tfl.nu/sb57

Replies (9) Good night (2346) Bad night (618)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine

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(703): Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine http://tfl.nu/dwth

Replies (5) Good night (1142) Bad night (625)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'

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(513): She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste' http://tfl.nu/jrl8

Replies (11) Good night (1985) Bad night (584)
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(253): View more from Washington

Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know

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(253): Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know http://tfl.nu/qmd3

Replies (7) Good night (842) Bad night (455)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening

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(501): When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening http://tfl.nu/gsvb

Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (483)

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