My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
barbara walters just said penis...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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