He uses pillows to masturbate.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes