I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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