You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
