i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Someone signed my nipple.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize