the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
