yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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