definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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