The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
