don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
