you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
