oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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