like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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