I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
