peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
third nipple confirmed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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