Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
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