We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
