you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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