Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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