I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
