i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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