my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
