I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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