i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
