Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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