Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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