I want to have your abortion
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You can't just leave with hair like that
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
