At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
