He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
