I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
