you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
