I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
