yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize