This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
