Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
