it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I fill condoms, not promises.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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