I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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