is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
