Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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