was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
