all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
