..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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