i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
