I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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