Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
