oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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