I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
