My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize