need another drink. this is the easiest way
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
