Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
