OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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