How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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