Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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