need another drink. this is the easiest way
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
