I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
