She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
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Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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