I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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