it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
home. puking in laundry basket.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
