i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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