At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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