Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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