Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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