it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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