I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
