I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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