She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
